Monoblogue by Neil Berliner: You’re So Vai…Irrelevant!

by Neil Berliner

David Geffen is apparently not the subject of Carly Simon’s 38 year-old song, “You’re So Vain”. The only person vain enough to care about this story at this point is probably Carly Simon!

After Russia’s poor showing in the Olympics, president Medvedev blasted his country’s officials who prepared their athletes. Those officials are petrified that upon returning to their homeland, they’ll be greeted with little, round “lead medals”.

A New York City cabbie ripped-off 574 passengers by rigging his meter to charge double. He also somehow managed to make his cab smell twice as bad as his competitors’.

A mother forced her 5 year-old daughter to steal a purse while they were at a Chuck E. Cheese. This is obviously the wrong message for a mom to be giving her impressionable child — stealing at Chuck E. Cheese. Tiffany’s, the bank, Ritz Carltons — now these are messages!

A “No Cussing Week” has been proposed by the California state Assembly. Clippers fans and Toyota owners will be exempt from the ruling.

George W. Bush will be writing a book about his presidency. “It may me take a while; I want to make sure that all the colors and ‘pop-ups’ look perfect.”

Neil Berliner is a writer for the syndicated late-night comedy talk show, The John Kerwin Show. He is a practicing M.D. and comedy writer, and has written aired lines for 11 major roasts since 2006 including Matt Lauer, Artie Lange, Mario Batali, Andy Dick, Pat Cooper, William Shatner, and Flavor Flav. Join Neil on Facebook and follow him on Twitter.

Published on Sunday, March 7 at 9:41 pm by Stage Time Magazine · Filed Under: Columns, Comedians, Features, Monoblogue 

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